Written By: Danielle Secki
Death is an odd thing, it’s an inevitable thing. Still though no one is ever prepared for it or how hard it hits you. Sometimes its almost as if you’re still waiting for it to hit you and other times it hits you like a ton of bricks. It has no rhyme, it has no reason. Death just is.
That being said how do you navigate through these times while still going on about your daily life? Bills still need to be paid, doctor appointments attended, kids taken care of, ect.. Are you like me where you have random bouts of crying while you drive but you can keep a straight face during taking care of your obligations? I also enjoy writing about it, sometimes I then take my piece and burry it somewhere to honor whatever it is that is bothering me.
I also find it to be so strange that some deaths just kind of roll off my shoulders, barely affecting me and my ability to perfom my every day tasks while others, well they just tend to stick with me for years. Never being able to shake that same overwhelming sadness that leaves you paralyzed. I don’t know what else there is to do because I feel like I’ve tried everything to move on and heal. Maybe some things you just can’t heal from and this is just the way that it will always be, hurtful. Maybe I just honor them throughout my life in any way that I can and that is good enough to get me through.
I know I don’t wake up every morning remembering whom is here and whom is not here. I know sometimes I even forget about everything as I’m being a mom and partner, a worker and a friend. I know sometimes I just am, so why does grief decide to come up at random times? Is it a smell? A noise? An expression that someone said maybe? Grief likes to sneak up on you when you least expect it and when it’s least welcome. I know it feels like there is no way that it will ever subside but it does eventually. You start to do little things to help you “forget”. Some people like to take walks, some look at old pictures. Different things work for different people. I have my therapist for times that feel unbearable.
Losing someone, especially someone thats very close to you, will NEVER be easy but it will always weigh up to the devastation and pain that it causes. It isn’t something that can be avoided or escaped, everyone must deal with it at some point in their life. Death is a brutal thing to have to endure and I feel for everyone that is dealing with it or has dealth with it already. You are not alone, there a bunches of us that feel stuck in our grief for years never finding a way out.
Some ways to help cope with a loss can be:
- Medication (For PTSD & Anxiety)
- Talking a walk in nature
- Doing something to honor the person
- Looking at old photos and sharing old memories
If you need a bigger list of things to try please click below and also never hesitate to reach out. You can find my contact info in the Worth With Me section.
Stay kind, stay real, stay safe and thanks for reading.